Nyotaimori - Human Food Platter

Nyotaimori—a noble and peculiar tradition that harks back to a time when Japan had yet to stumble upon the groundbreaking innovation of... plates. Yes, before the advent of those revolutionary discs of ceramic genius, our inventive ancestors took a long, hard look at the human form and figured, "Why not?"

A time in Japan’s not so distant, plate-less past when humanity—on the very cusp of culinary brilliance—decided to abandon a simple slab of wood in favor of… Megumi. Megumi, the unfortunate villager whose singular qualification for this role was, apparently, her willingness to lie still under a heap of raw fish. Bravo, Megumi, well done you.

So, raise a glass of sake, my friends, to the Megumis, Aikos, and Junkos of culinary history. Without their sacrifices, we might still be eating off Bob from accounting!