Three spheres floating in the ocean under a cloudy sky

I’m a ball of a jumbled mess somehow forming into an image god approves of but can’t see. But have faith and trust that he’s taking me somewhere. I also have the urge to come out of my skin like a ghost and slap myself but don’t know why. And I wanna do more but can’t and can do where I am at but my mind is going so fast it hurts to slow down. Life block. By God or by me? Am I destined to be who I am or am I to be greater than I am now? How can I strive forward with no motivation and no oof to push me to anything. I don’t desire anything other than God. And nothing is calling to me in life saying chase this or do this. I am here.

verybadimagenegative_v1.3, ng_deepnegative_v1_75t, (ugly face:0.8),cross-eyed,sketches, (worst quality:2), (low quality:2), (normal quality:2), lowres, normal quality, ((monochrome)), ((grayscale)), skin spots, acnes, skin blemishes, bad anatomy, DeepNegative, facing away, tilted head, {Multiple people}, lowres, bad anatomy, bad hands, text, error, missing fingers, extra digit, fewer digits, cropped, worstquality, low quality, normal quality, jpegartifacts, signature, watermark, username, blurry, bad feet, cropped, poorly drawn hands, poorly drawn face, mutation, deformed, worst quality, low quality, normal quality, jpeg artifacts, signature, watermark, extra fingers, fewer digits, extra limbs, extra arms,extra legs, malformed limbs, fused fingers, too many fingers, long neck, cross-eyed,mutated hands, polar lowres, bad body, bad proportions, gross proportions, text, error, missing fingers, missing arms, missing legs, extra digit, extra arms, extra leg, extra foot, ((repeating hair))