There is a woman sitting at a desk with a laptop computer

To get up and leave and to never return and to walk away and just be like Jonah. But I have no clue what I am meant to do. I feel like I should know but I don’t. And it pisses me off. Got so mad the other day I punched myself in the head and then snapped out of it and realized what I did what made me more pissed off so I just went in my room and yelled and cried and got hogh and played piano. I feel like I was on the train to what god wanted and I got off it bc I couldn’t stay where I was and then now I am here. My parents moved and so then I did as well since I have no choice. No cause I don’t like what they did so this whole thought process is dumb what’s the point. I don’t even know what I’m looking g for I’m just rummaging around d and can’t find anything to do. I even played on my floor today and listened to music just staring at the ceiling. Why can’t I do anything? Why am I confined by an invisible fucking shell? Why do I feel like something extraordinary or extravagant has to happen in my life for me to start something? Why do I have complete trust in God when yet I have no clue what we are doing? Like he’s holding my hand as I’m blinded by a sack over my head. Just get to much involved in my head can’t get out and get stuck. Then I try crawling out. Out now… but just the empty feeling of something to do. I want my life to matter other than just being here… i wanna work towards something and or build something but I can’t barely do anything. Like I’m moses and Noah but at the same time they did stuff so why can’t I. So then when is it my turn to do something? Why can’t I figure out what to do with my life other than just sit here.

verybadimagenegative_v1.3, ng_deepnegative_v1_75t, (ugly face:0.8),cross-eyed,sketches, (worst quality:2), (low quality:2), (normal quality:2), lowres, normal quality, ((monochrome)), ((grayscale)), skin spots, acnes, skin blemishes, bad anatomy, DeepNegative, facing away, tilted head, {Multiple people}, lowres, bad anatomy, bad hands, text, error, missing fingers, extra digit, fewer digits, cropped, worstquality, low quality, normal quality, jpegartifacts, signature, watermark, username, blurry, bad feet, cropped, poorly drawn hands, poorly drawn face, mutation, deformed, worst quality, low quality, normal quality, jpeg artifacts, signature, watermark, extra fingers, fewer digits, extra limbs, extra arms,extra legs, malformed limbs, fused fingers, too many fingers, long neck, cross-eyed,mutated hands, polar lowres, bad body, bad proportions, gross proportions, text, error, missing fingers, missing arms, missing legs, extra digit, extra arms, extra leg, extra foot, ((repeating hair))