Ok. Now to try to escape this reality and be floatless so my brain can have peace. Like a candle stick burning on both ends… eventually I’ll break for good or for bad. But for now I’ll surpress the feeling of anxiety. The anxiety and impatience I have from God from knowing what he can do with me and what he is and will do with me is too much and the whole thing is too much for me to even handle or comprehend so I sit and smoke and worship in awe of God but in return I feel even more empty and put aside. Maybe God put me on the sidelines to protect me from What’s happening. Either or. Cheers I don’t know what to do and won’t help comes from the lord of the maker and heaven of earth my help comes from the lord the maker of heaven and earth but why can’t I feel like your doing anything or I’m going to go do something why can’t I see the picture unfolding?

verybadimagenegative_v1.3, ng_deepnegative_v1_75t, (ugly face:0.8),cross-eyed,sketches, (worst quality:2), (low quality:2), (normal quality:2), lowres, normal quality, ((monochrome)), ((grayscale)), skin spots, acnes, skin blemishes, bad anatomy, DeepNegative, facing away, tilted head, {Multiple people}, lowres, bad anatomy, bad hands, text, error, missing fingers, extra digit, fewer digits, cropped, worstquality, low quality, normal quality, jpegartifacts, signature, watermark, username, blurry, bad feet, cropped, poorly drawn hands, poorly drawn face, mutation, deformed, worst quality, low quality, normal quality, jpeg artifacts, signature, watermark, extra fingers, fewer digits, extra limbs, extra arms,extra legs, malformed limbs, fused fingers, too many fingers, long neck, cross-eyed,mutated hands, polar lowres, bad body, bad proportions, gross proportions, text, error, missing fingers, missing arms, missing legs, extra digit, extra arms, extra leg, extra foot, ((repeating hair))